Tag Archives: Intrapersonal Relationships

Is There More Risk In Online Relationships Verse Offline?

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Some would immediately say there would be more risk in an online relationship; however, isn’t is just as easy to create a false identity or say you are someone else offline as it is online? But you can also meet someone extremely genuine and true both online and offline. So why are people so feared of the online relationships? Is because we don’t know exactly what is on the other side of the computer screen?

More and more people are hearing about how they met the love of their life or their soul mate online. I think it’s great for people to connect and live happily ever after; however, I personally fear the possibility of deception on the Internet. From thePsychology Today article, “Cyberspace: Love Online,” author Hara Estroff Marano she says:

“Indeed, online relationships can be unusually seductive. They are readily accessible, they move very quickly, and under the cloak of anonymity, they make it easy for people to reveal a great deal about themselves… And while cyber relationships can be more sincere and open than offline relationships, they also leave a great deal of room fordeception, although online relationships are marked more bydreams than deception.”

I have never personally gotten involved in an online relationship and I don’t think I ever will. I would have too much fear of being deceived. I personally would much rather go out and meet people offline and face-to-face. Then if it  turned out to be a long distance relationship I could use the Internet as a way to maintain that relationship.

I don’t think there is more risk online verse offline because the possibility of rejection still exists in both worlds. It seems that with the numerous social networking websites, chat rooms, and dating/match websites that a lot of people are finding their perfect match online. Furthermore, that these sites are safe and have built in precautions. With high success rates it’s another alternative for individuals to try.

It is great for everyone to find their soul mate whether that be offline or online. In the end individuals need to think twice about what they post and protect themselves from the dangers online, and this guideline goes for any activity individuals partake in online.

Sources- Cyberspace: Love Online

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Is Texting Having an Impact?

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After watching Sherry Turkle’s Ted Talk video, “Connect, but alone?”  it sparked more thoughts about the intrapersonal relationships we are forming and maintaining with social networking websites, digital media and technology.

I know I shouldn’t stay up texting until 3 a.m. but I wouldn’t want to be out of the loop or miss out on this “conversation” with whomever it may be. I know I shouldn’t spend the first hour on my computer checking Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, but I do that instead of starting my homework. If I know I shouldn’t continually do these things, then why do I always find myself trapped with the urges to check my Facebook, send in a few tweets, or scroll through the entire news feed of Pinterest.

InThe New York Times article, “Texting May Be Taking a Toll,” the author Katie Hafner mentions, “Sherry Turkle, a psychologist…has studied texting among teenagers in the Boston area for three years, said it might be causing a shift in the way adolescents develop,” (Hafner, 1). This article continued to spark my mind about intrapersonal relationships and how texting is a main factor in ruining or hindering relationships.

I thought it was interesting that throughout the article author Hafner showed how it is hard for psychologists like Turkle or Peter W. Jornson, an associate professor at the Univerysity of Washington, to really see if the effects of texting are hindering our mental, emotion, or physical health because studies are just beginning to be developed. But since it is such a phenomenon individuals can predict the true effects or impacts of texting on our society and young individuals.

It is interesting to see that some children are being resistant to their parents punishing them or holding these guidelines they have to follow about texting because their parents are indulging just as much in their own cell phones. Generations of digital natives who have grown up attached at the hip to their cell phones are shifting into parenthood. The texting obsession is not going to get better only worse if parents have trouble not indulging themselves into their iPhones.

The technology of texting is changing the intrapersonal relationships individuals have with their families and friends. We know what is right and wrong when it comes to having a conversation or interacting with others. But the fact that technology gives us more control with what we say and allows us to edit and delete is not coincidental that these are the situations we are turning toward.

Sources:

“Texting May Be Taking A Toll” – The New York Times

Everyone is Pointing Fingers At Who Should Take Charge with Cyberbullying…

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A lot of people know that cyberbullying is happening, but not a lot of people are taking it into their own hands and dealing with it. Yes, there are people who do take a stand but it has not be substantial enough were incidents are becoming fewer. If parents, schools, and professionals who work with social networking sites teamed together in campaigns against cyberbullying users would see a consistent message on how it is wrong to treat others that way.

In the article from teacherweb.com, “How Should Facebook and Myspace Handle Cyberbullying,” author Emily Bazelon describes how false accusations of cyberberbullying changed an individual’s life. The accusations began when his Facebook page was reported for harassment; however, this individual didn’t even have a Facebook page.

Furthermore, Bazelon describes how the individual and parents were never given answers on who actually created this fake Facebook. This showed me how you really can never trust who the person is behind the Facebook page because anyone can upload pictures of someone, create a profile, and be acting like someone else on the Internet.

Throughout this article Bazelon compared how MySpace and Facebook each handle cyberbullying issues. After reading the article I am sort of confused why MySpace has the rep it does because it seemed like this website takes this bullying more serious and takes greater steps into action than Facebook.

Then Facebook doesn’t seem to be actually admitting what is actually going on with cyberbullying or abusive use on the web because once it is reported they complete a small investigation and then just delete the page. It seems like Facebook is sweeping the bug under the rug and forgetting about the situation.

Instead of schools, parents, and social networking sites pointing fingers in the opposite direction I think that all three areas need to work together to control the amount of cyberbullying happening and implementing punishments. Bazelon wrote good arguments on how situations are and are not being handled; furthermore, was being realistic about the internet and today’s generation of users.

Not So Mutual Facebook Friends

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While scrolling around on the Web I found the article, “Facebook’s Privacy Trainwrek,” by Danah Boyd, which was published by Sage Publications in 2008. I agreed with everything Boyd stated about Facebook, News Feed, and the relationships we create or think we create on Facebook. Yes, I am a Facebook user and yes I say that I use Facebook to stay connected with friends. But, by “friends” I don’t mean the ones I accept on Facebook I mean the ones I was friends with before I was on Facebook.

First Boyd explains to readers that the Facebook News Feed is structured in the same structure of a blog with information being displayed in “reverse chronological order” or the newest information is posted at the top. Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook Creator) communicated to the users about the News Feed for Facebook through his blog. Similar coincidence that the Facebook creator uses a blog? I don’t think so.

Intrapersonal relationships can be created online and offline, but is it always a mutual friendship? I mean I surely have numerous Facebook Friends who I have hardly ever talked to, don’t keep up with offline, and don’t have their phone number.

In my Intro to Writing Arts class, one of my peers said that she only keeps Facebook Friends that she has their phone number to call them up or talk to them off of the internet, and I feel that is a great rule to follow when involving yourself online.

Boyd further describes how Facebook relationships are not always mutual, yet we may feel like we know one of our “Friends” really well because of their frequent posts and information from Facebook.

In one scenario Boyd describes how an individual follows their crush on Facebook and feels that they know things about them like interests, birthday, photos, who they are friends with, etc. When in fact the individual has just memorized their Facebook page and really has no relationship with their crush and may not even know they exist.

This is what users call Facebook Stalkers or as I have called them: Not so mutual friends.

In Boyd’s article he described different scenarios around the Facebook News Feed that came out on September 5th, 2006 (Boyd, 2). After the publication of the News Feed Facebook put out privacy settings because now the information users put on the Web 2.0 was popping up on everyone’s News Fed and the information was now far more assessable to Friends then before.

I have every Facebook privacy setting set because I don’t want users who aren’t my Friends to look at my information and I don’t want everyone who I am Friends with to see every picture, status, likes, wall post, or comment I make. Facebook tells too much information that not everyone wants to know, and there are those people that you feel you know or keep in touch with because of their activity on Facebook.

Most of my Facebook friends are friends offline and online with mutual relationships, and if they aren’t a mutual friend I have been slowly working on deleting those not so mutual Facebook Friends.

Why Do I Tweet?

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Today, Twitter has over 140 million uses and over 340 million tweets are posted daily (Sternberg). The population includes average people to top charting celebrities of all ages. My twitter has tracked my college career since I joined the tweeting community during my freshman year of college in the fall of 2009. I joined Twitter because all of my new friends in college had one and were forming intrapersonal relationships on the web through Twitter, so I wanted to be apart of the discourse community where we talked about school, weekends, and other random topics.

I feel that the relationships of my followers and who I am following is an extension of the relationships we have off the internet; furthermore, it is a nice way to stay updated on news, see what my friends are doing, and to interact with them on the internet. I am on Twitter because I enjoy tweeting and reading other tweets from the users I follow.

There are many friends on Twitter I have lost touch with since high school ended or don’t talk to everyday, and having a conversation on through tweets is an informal and easy way to keep up to date on each others life from various locations. These interactions would not be possible without Twitter or other social networking websites, but because of the online interactions relationships off the Internet are able to stay connected. There is no relationship developed with the celebrities that I follow, and I understand that just because I follow them on twitter does not mean we have a developing relationship.

Sometimes Twitter users, myself included, tweet too much or things that really don’t matter within the discourse community. But, those 140 characters do mean a lot to that particular user; therefore, I try to tweet with meaning but I allow myself the pointless tweets about what I had for lunch or how bored I am because Twitter is a way for users to express themselves. However, Twitter has began to expand farther than 140 characters because people link their tweets to blogs, websites, pictures, Facebook, etc.

Overall, I use Twitter to post random thoughts, quotes, moments, or photos that come up with throughout the day. I link to other social networking sites through tweets and vise versa. But, the main reason I joined Twitter was because everyone else was doing it. In the beginning I didn’t understand the point of the 140 characters or why I would tweet daily, however in the end I fully enjoy using Twitter on a daily basis.

Sources:

The Twitter Aftershock for Digital Media